As the humor columnist for B-Metro Magazine I got to do a social media takeover. And, even though it got off to a rocky start with all the technical difficulties, I had a great time taking over their Facebook page! I look forward to doing it again! Thanks for having me! ~ Sunny
Photo: Billy Brown
Photo: Billy brown
CLOSE UP SHOT OF A WOMAN SILENTLY SCREAMING AND PULLING HER HAIR OUT. THE CAMERA PULLS BACK AND WE REALIZE THAT IT IS OUR HEROINE, SUNNY BROWN. SHE IS HAVING A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO PULL BACK AND WE SEE THAT SHE HAS BEEN WRITING IN HER DIARY. CLOSE-UP SHOT OF HER DIARY. WE SEE HER ENTRY:
Dear, Diary ~
*I feel more and more certain every day that my husband is slamming every door, cabinet, and drawer just to drive me insane. Am I becoming paranoid? Or just shell shocked? Is his plan working? #amplottingmyrevenge
*Dog absolutely refuses to go for another walk. She has whittled down to 10 lbs. I have gained the 10 lbs. #shesabitch
*Am trying to retain/find some humor in the situation ~ in Life. Husband refuses to listen to any more of my jokes. #hesnotmyaudienceanyway
*Watched 3 hours of workout videos to try and get motivated. It worked ~ thinking of joining in next time!
*Lost my glasses. It was a good 30-minute reprieve from being in quarantine as I spent the next half-hour looking for them and nothing else in life mattered ~ I completely and totally forgot anything else was going on in the world! Thinking of how to turn this into a game and how to monetize it!? #sunnyneedsajob
*Decide to use this time constructively and learn some things that I have always been interested in learning; Decide to learn how to play the piano – fast! For free!
*Since I have started practicing the piano, husband has asked me to go back to telling him more jokes. Maybe I am beginning to annoy him back? (laughing maniacally.)
*Decide that spending hours on end, day after day, practicing “Learning to Play the Piano in Four Minutes” is too fast! #next
*Thank God for Turner Classic Movies. #thankful
*Begin learning to speak French.
*Husband claims he can’t understand anything I am saying. #whatsnew
*Decide drinking in French is easier than speaking it. Did someone say #champagnecocktail ? Oh yes, I did!
*Resolve to let us run out of food so I can lose weight. Must try and flatten my curves. #flattenthecurve
*Tried a new recipe: Added Chambord to my Champagne ~ delish! #success
*Husband went to store for food. He has lost 8 lbs. #@%$!
*Husband does not realize how safe he is only because I might need him to be around to help me color my hair. #doessheordoesntshe ?
*Watched 3 more hours of people working out. Decided now was not the time to become a joiner.
*Suddenly everyone in my family wants to Facetime with me. It makes me suspicious. Why now?! Why?!
*I am glad that we must now wear face masks in public. Since I keep gaining all the weight everyone around here is losing, no one will be able to recognize me along with my hat and oversize sunglasses.
*The most pressing question is: Should I get out my summer clothes? Or are we going to have to “Stay Home” until fall/winter? In which case I will just be in the same pj’s I am in now. Also, it’s always cold in here. I must drink on this. #imeanthinkonthis
*Screen time continues to go up. Bank account continues to go down.
*Have decided to spend some time learning to cook.
*Is it really “cooking” if I am just following directions? #askingforafriend
*Have just heard that they are beginning to re-open society. PANIC! I still have so much that I wanted to do! So much to learn! If I only had the time! #somuchtodosolittletime
FADE TO BLACK.
I don’t trust this warm weather we are having. It’s just like a lover that shows up unexpectedly and leaves just as abruptly, leaving you feeling colder than ever. Read all about it in this classic column of mine from B-Metro Magazine.
In honor of my most recent birthday I shared some thoughts on being a “Woman of a Certain Age” in my latest column for B-Metro Magazine.
In just about every area of life from media, entertainment, fashion, beauty, music, you name it, once a woman reaches the age of fifty she seems to completely disappear from society. Only the advertisers seem to be able to find me! They are constantly letting me know that they have the remedy to my “aging problem”. And, of course I fall for it every time! I’m always trying every product they pitch. No matter what, though, I still seem to get another year older. And, for that I am grateful. So, here’s my “Testimonial of a Woman Over 50”. I hope it gives you a laugh line! ~ And happy birthday to all the women turning invisible this year! Welcome to the club! #aninvisiblewoman ~ Sunny
Photo: Billy Brown
My love has given me the cold shoulder this morning and I thought my column in this month’s B-Metro Magazine was perfect timing! I hope you enjoy it. And, cuddle up and stay warm out there ~ don’t come out until after Easter! ~ Sunny 🙂
Here’s a little laugh for your Sunday afternoon reading pleasure……since you’re all ready for Thanksgiving with nothing else to do ! 😉
I’m very thankful for all of you ~ Happy Thanksgiving!
Sunny xo
P.S. Check out my Instagram page for photos of the new girl! 😉
In honor of our wedding anniversary this month I interview my husband for my column in B-Metro Magazine for my annual check-in with him to get his thoughts on all things about the state of our union. Read on for all the intimate details 😉
If you are ever feeling like you are afraid to go for something that you have always wanted to do, you can just remind yourself of me in this crazy situation and you will never feel afraid, or bad about yourself again! I hope it gives you a little laugh-it has me! From my January column in B-Metro Magazine: Photo: Billy Brown
Sunny Brown 